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There’s a new teen girl guide book out written by two very cool chicks — journalist and ChickClick vet Courtney Macavinta and teen advice book author Andrea Vander Pluym. Andrea was also very involved with Girls in the Hall and the Bay Area chapter of Teen Voices (where I was the associate publisher and built a very primative Website for GITH). GITH offered writing workshops to teen girls in juvie hall and then published their stories in Teen Voices magazine.

The name of their book is “Respect” and the idea is “to help girls get respect and hold on to it.” It’s big sisterly advice combined with cool illustrations and is being marketed to both teen girls and parents/adults.

Before I publish the email interview I did with Courtney, I have five books to give away. Here’s how it will work. Post a comment with your advice to girls on how to “get respect” on any of these topics: setting healthy boundaries, a girl’s place in media and society, taking action when a girl’s rights are violated or any other area you can think of, and I’ll pick the five best commenters and send out the books. The deadline for posting your comments will be next Wednesday.

And now…the interview:

Ypulse: Why did you feel the need to write this book?

Courtney Macavinta: For starters, when we were teens we struggled with issues that leave a mark on any girl—negative body image or labels, doubts about our intelligence, seemingly “world-ending” mistakes, unhealthy relationships with guys and family members, and violence. Once we were both in college, we were still grappling with those feelings but we were able to find more support, guidance and sisterhood. We focused on our passions and accomplished goals such as becoming journalists. So we became more comfortable with our true selves, and found it easier to make choices that were right for us. What was missing in our teen years? It wasn’t just life experience. It was self-respect. We needed more of it, and the respect we did have—well, we needed to know how to hang on to it.

Newsletter readers: Come to Ypulse.com for the rest of the interview.

CM, ctd.: A few jobs out of college, we met as editors for ChickClick, a progressive media network for girls and women. And it was there that our joint mission began. Thousands of girls were talking on our network about dilemmas, drama, and traumas that they were dealing with every day. From not knowing how to say their true feelings to being pressured into sex—or to just look sexy—to not feeling in charge of their decisions or bodies. They described the “norm” of girl vs. girl fights, sexual harassment, date rape, eating disorders, or verbally abusive relationships. They were going through the same things we had—even worse. Yes girls have to live and learn, but we felt there was a lot of mis-education going on. Disrespect shouldn’t feel like the norm.

We were tired of girls—women—being held back by disrespect, myths, and mixed messages. Like girls are told they can do anything but then they are pressured to package themselves as objects of desire. This is bunk. We wanted to pass on to girls what we’d finally learned: That respect is connected to everything. No matter what girls are going through or need, respect is the remedy. So we set out to write a guide to life for girls centered on how to build self-respect, get and give respect, take action to deal with disrespect, and spread more respect for all girls and women.

YP: What made you choose the “guide” format? Was this challenging?

CM: Respect evolved a lot. It started as a response to all the stories we were hearing from girls about being disrespected or abused. But we knew we had to take it further. We didn’t want to start this conversation with girls from the vantage point that girls are “victims.” Instead, we wanted girls to know that they have fundamental rights and that they deserve respect. That said, we did feel it was important to validate what many girls are going through, and to open their eyes to how disrespect can be derailing or hurtful. Still we always come back to how you can take action in your own life—and your world—by listening to and standing up for yourself (and other girls).

Our goal came down offering girls solid ways to build respect inside and out. In the end, we organized the book by topic so it was easy for girls to get what they need. And that meant focusing the entire first part of the book on self-respect, such as mind, body, and media consumption. Then we cover their relationships with friends, family, boyfriends/girlfriends. And finally we felt compelled to give them more tools to fight for their rights and that’s what the “Taking Action” part of the book is all about.

So this guide approach was a huge challenge because we covered a lot of ground but needed to keep it inviting and engaging. We are journalists by trade, so broadening the book also meant having to interview numerous more experts and girls. And we needed a unifying framework to tie all the chapters together—that’s how the The 7 Respect Basics were born. With backgrounds in teen editorial, this format did allow us to get involved in creating a page-turning design. We were also able to introduce juicy elements that reoccur throughout the book like true stories from girls dubbed “My Say,” “Gut Check” tips for listening to your instincts, or “REtroSPECT” sidebars, which put the issues discussed in chapters into a historical context for girls.

YP: I’m sure you’ve read “Deal With It” from the editors of gURL.com. How is this book different?

CM: We LOVE “Deal With It!” (and we recommend the book and Web site to our readers). We feel that the gURL editors blazed the trail for Respect by creating a thoughtful, frank primer on everything a girl wants to understand and explore—from her how her body and brain work to ways to express herself.

With our book, we take this same girl’s world and wrap it in respect. Girls learn how respect is connected to everything from how they feel, to who they are, to the choices they make. We show how disrespect from the inside or world around them is oppressive and a violation of their rights. Girls discover how gaining their independence, following their dreams, and being real is about respecting who they are and not accepting disrespect. They find out how to make “The 7 Respect Basics” a part of their lives. We show them how to: be honest about what they want, need and think; trust their gut, set boundaries, speak up, and ask for help; and invest in their self-respect in part by building strong relationships and sisterhood. So we also cover a girl’s mind, body, and world but from a perspective of how to get and give respect and keep it (and how to deal when your line is crossed!).

YP: Are you mostly marketing this book to parents, teens or both? How do you plan to reach them?

CM: Both. Parents have been given a lot of information about the “dark side” of teen girls’ lives. Respect gives their daughters an action guide to not only deal with disrespect but to build their confidence and courage. We also focus on family communication and making self-respecting choices, which we think parents will appreciate!

Free Spirit Publishing is already very successful in the education market and in reaching parents and teens through its catalog, book stores, the media, and events. So we are working closely with our publisher on publicity, such as offering creative story ideas and quizzes to teen publications or how-to features for women’s magazines so we can reach the moms, aunts and mentors. We’re also reaching out to journalists who write about teens to make “respect” a larger part of the dialogue. Our publisher is really supportive and invests in its books for long-term—we’re all devoted to Respect as a part of an ongoing mission to empower girls.

On our end, we’ve developed our own grassroots marketing plan to make sure all girls can get access to the book (and respect!). On our Web site we have a whole section for girls with additional help resources, sample boundaries, and tools for taking action. Girls can also contribute stories about how they’re getting respect. And we created the Buy a Girl a Book campaign, in which people can buy a copy of Respect for donation to organizations we’ve partnered with such as Girls For A Change. We plan to turn traditional bookstore appearances into interactive workshops for girls (and the women in their life!) and we’ll be involved in events like the Girl Summit in San Jose. We also have relationships with girls’ organizations and educators who we will continue to work with to get “The 7 Respect Basics” out to girls and their parents.

Our goal is to keep connecting with girls and women as we’ve done with our volunteer work and editorial careers to keep spreading the word that the real girl power in life is respect.

YP: What is the most important take away a girls can get from reading RESPECT?

CM: Respect is every girl’s birthright. When you don’t get the respect you deserve, you have to claim it. And true respect is always within reach because it starts on the inside.

YP: Anything else you think Ypulse readers should know?

CM: We’ve had a lot of women pick up our book and say, “I need this book!” It’s true! The quest for respect is a lifelong pursuit for us all. For example, it seemed like all of our advice was tested in our lives while writing the book. We had to be true to ourselves regarding what we wanted to say. We had to take care of our health so we could fulfill our mission. We had to speak up about our beliefs and be honest about our feelings.

In the end, we wrote this book because we believe that girls shouldn’t have to wait until they’re older to get what we all want, need and deserve: respect. When girls everywhere are respecting themselves, standing together to fight for their rights, and getting respect from the world—the world will be as it should be. We can’t wait!

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Categorized under: Books & Print

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