Please Stop The 'Sexting' Insanity
Posted by anastasia on 04-21-2009You may have noticed that the media has fully embraced "sexting" [a term invented by the media] as the latest horror story about teens and technology. First it was about how the internet is teeming with predators a la "To Catch A Predator," with the most dramatic stories focusing on girls who met these predators in real life [read the real deal here: Online "Predators" And Their Victims]. Next it was about cyberbullying, highlighting the most extreme cases that ended in young people having to switch schools or even more tragically committing suicide. The latest is "sexting," where teens are naively sending and receiving sexually explicit photos or video of themselves to friends via cell phone, again, with the most dramatic cases highlighted — and the real travesty, in my opinion, — being the misuse of existing laws to prosecute 18-year-olds involved in these cases as sex offenders.
Because I spend a lot of time and energy attempting to put out the flames of moral panic stirred up by the media around these issues, I get really frustrated when I see folks pouring gasoline onto the fire.
Unfortunately, our friends at Allykatzz, a site for tween girls, are doing their part in promoting panic. I know and deeply respect the founder of Allykatzz and think they have done a great job creating a safe online community for tween girls — they have spoken at our events as well. Their latest research on tweens and sexting, while I have no doubt was well-intentioned, comes off more like a way to grab some of the media spotlight still shining brightly on this issue than a catalyst for a balanced discussion.
The headline of the press release reads:
"SEXTING" NOT JUST A TEEN PROBLEM;
TWEEN GIRLS AS YOUNG AS 10 ARE ALSO SENDING, RECEIVING AND/OR POSTING “SEXY” PHOTOS, TEXTS AND EMAILS
The stats highlighted in the release:
- 30% have sent or received sexy messages/photos of themselves, and nearly 67% have posted some type of photo or video of themselves online
- Of the 30% who have sent or received sexy messages/photos, 33.7% have sent sexy messages/photos, 11.2% have posted and nearly 81% have received sexy messages/photos
- Tween girls responded that they started sending sexy messages/photos at age 12, but receiving them, often from people they don’t know, as young as 10
- When asked why they send or post sexy messages/photos, 82.2% said to get attention, 66.3% said to be “cool,” 59.4% said to be like the popular girls, and 54.8% said to find a boyfriend
- 47.2% have thought about sending sexy messages/photos
- When tween girls receive sexy messages/photos that upset them, girls ages 10,11,12 are likely to tell a parent, but girls 13 and older are less likely to do so for fear their computers will be taken away and instead forward the messages/photos to their friends for “help”
- 29% have MySpace accounts and 33.2% have Facebook accounts – of these tweens, 51% have been contacted via these sites by a stranger, and 54% believe that only people they know can access their Facebook/MySpace pages
They define sexting as – "sending, receiving and/or posting sexy messages/photos (e.g. photos of themselves in their underwear, or without clothes, messages of a sexual or suggestive nature) online and via cell phone/email."
First off this expands the definition of "sexting" beyond mobile and includes sending/receiving/posting online (one reason for the higher percentage).
Second, the report shares some qualitative responses that show a wide range of definitions around the content being sent or posted from "Photo: Yourself in your underwear, or seeing down your shirt" to "You exposing your body parts or you making out with someone or having sex."
Third, the survey was self-selecting, i.e. girls volunteered to take it after seeing it promoted on the homepage. This always biases the results. The sample size was relatively small (303 girls completed one survey, 225 girls completed a second survey – the report doesn't indicate whether any of the same girls took both surveys).
I am not living in denial about the reality that young people in the throws of puberty would be tempted to impulsively text or post these types of images without thinking about the viral, public nature of the technology they are using. It happens — more than it should. Parents and educators should be discussing these issues with teens and tweens. But I also know how freaked out parents are about all of these issues — and unfortunately, the way this survey is being spun, along with a lot of the media coverage, only perpetuates a culture of fear around these issues. I also think it's important to really put disclaimers around these types of online surveys so people understand their limitations.
Sort of Related:
A Lawyer, Some Teens and a Fight Over 'Sexting'
For more coverage of the tween space, check out the Ypulse Tweens Channel, sponsored by the Tween Tribune.
Categorized under: Tweens
April 21st, 2009 at 11:46 am
What a shame that this information is being presented in such a biased manner. As the parent of a 10 year old girl, I have found from her and her friends that they are simply curious about sex, as this is the age where they receive "family life" education at school. If more parents would simply talk to their daughters about the scope of the Internet, and how curiosity is not a bad thing, but needs to be framed within the context of a worldwide resource, we would all be a little less panicked about these things.
April 21st, 2009 at 2:52 pm
It's great that you are a champion for the "voice of reason" when it comes to media hype about kids, technology and sex. I recommend parents talk about all the technology we use and set rules for how we hope our kids will use cell phones and computers. Even when kids, good kids, make mistakes, we need them to consider their parents to be their advocates. In the study, the over 13 year olds said they can't tell parents when bad things happen because the parents just don't get it. Too often though we overreact don't we?
I've also blogged on this story today at http://www.norton.com/ask-marian.
April 21st, 2009 at 7:33 pm
Almost everyone with an email account receives sex-related spam.
They could have come up with a 100% sexting number using a definition which includes "receiving and/or posting sexy messages" if the respondents had all taken that to include spam.
April 22nd, 2009 at 7:36 am
Thanks for your level headed analysis. The recent hype has definitely been overboard with too much conversation about prosecuting kids who are naturally curious about their bodies and themselves as sexual beings and too little conversation about teaching kids proper guidelines for interacting with digital media and their sexual identities. (I thought Oprah's show two weeks ago about having the sex talk with kids was fantastic. In case anyone missed it: http://www.oprah.com/dated/oprahshow/oprahshow-20090326-teens-and-sex)
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:35 pm
Sexting is stupid. DONT send nude pics to ppl. i can uderstand sexy messageing ppl but not sending pictures. try to b smart about the things u text and the pics you send ! Dont just put ur self out there. -SweetBlood =]
April 22nd, 2009 at 6:02 pm
What you don't discuss in your post is the very real possibility that some overly zealous prosecutor will take a "sex-ter" to trial on child porn charges. Makes for good headlines in any jurisdiction!
Ironically, the Prosecutor will argue that the defendant is both the criminal AND the victim. Weird. But its already happening in jurisdictions nationwide.
So, while you tend to pooh-pooh the stats collected – you fail to give the very real warning that if taken to trial and if convicted these young people who've been sexting will have to register as sex offenders FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES.
April 22nd, 2009 at 7:55 pm
Hi Diane. I actually did allude to how crazy the laws are when I said:
…"and the real travesty, in my opinion, — being the misuse of existing laws to prosecute 18-year-olds involved in these cases as sex offenders."
Also I linked to a related story in the Wall Street Journal that talked about how one judge was offering an alternative to child pornography charges:
A Lawyer, Some Teens and a Fight Over 'Sexting'
It just wasn't the focus of this particular post.
April 23rd, 2009 at 8:18 am
anastasia -
It's not just 18 year olds being threatened with prosecution.
Pennsylvania District Attorney George Skumanick Jr. has threatened 15 year old Marissa Miller with prosecution.
George Skumanick Jr. is threatening her because when she was 12, she was photographed at a slumber party with her bra showing.
April 23rd, 2009 at 8:27 am
Again – Eric, the legal issues around sexting were not the focus of my post. If I wrote a post about legal issues and sexting, I would have included a lot all the different legal angles:)
April 23rd, 2009 at 7:05 pm
I don't believe that "sexting" is a term coined by the media. I have been using that word for well over a year and I don't think I'm the one that invented it nor do I remember ever hearing it in the media.
April 23rd, 2009 at 7:17 pm
Interesting. I asked teens about the term when the story was breaking and got a lot of blank stares after using that term. Maybe you invented it! ;-)
See also, number 4 in the Urban Dictionary:
4. sexting
a word that the media made up after some Greensburg Salem school district's principals invaded the students privacy by taking their phone and then felt the need to go through the students messages and then reported it to the police.
i bet our principals feel like badasses now since they got their school on the news for "sexting", when teenagers don't even call it that.
April 24th, 2009 at 6:33 am
Sexting #4 was posted in January of 2009
I didn't have to go past the first page on urban dictionary to see that someone else posted: "like phone sex except throught texting" in may of 2006.
I knew I couldn't get the credit :)
Sexting is a real issue among teens and I applaud someone for taking the time to do research on it. It will cause much more emotional damage when someone can with one click share a message or photo over facebook, email, group text, etc. Sexting allows immature youths the false confidence to experiment and test each other sexually without the immediate awkwardness of a face to face encounter. Unlike phone sex where the conversation ends with the line being disconnected and picks up with rumors the next day, messaging leaves a very tangible social footprint or record that can have more real consequences.
April 24th, 2009 at 8:29 am
Ben, I'm not saying it isn't happening. Kids have always written sexual notes or talked about sex on the phone before everything went digital (as you noted). It's part of going through puberty and experimentation. Just as kids have always bullied. And I wrote in my post that it's an important issue to discuss, especially with the public, viral nature of the internet and cell phone technology, which can amplify any existing behavior. I'm all for talking about it.
I'm just arguing that the way this particular research is spun as well as a lot of the media coverage of the issue contributes to the overall sense of panic many adults/parents have around what youth are doing with technology in general (I speak to parents quite a bit so I know the panic is real). I also don't believe self selecting online surveys tell the whole story. They offer a snapshot of what some youth are thinking and doing — and if the proper disclaimers are given, interesting data, but consumers of this data have to know that it will be skewed.
April 24th, 2009 at 11:03 am
Most teens who sext don't suffer any major negative consequences.
A tiny percentage do because a prosecutor threatened them.
If state legislatures clarify laws to protect these teenagers from prosecutors, then major negative consequences for sexting will become even rarer.
April 24th, 2009 at 11:47 am
Eric,
The consequences I was thinking of were parental/scholastic reprimands and penalties along with social stigmas more so than the legal ramifications that do exist.
Anastasia,
I agree with you and unfortunately the media is going to do their best to sensationalize all this to increase their readership. Parents don't need to panic, it is very normal as you stated, but they should communicate with their children about the consequences of sexting. The media can be credited for being a catalyst and providing talking points for new parent/children conversations.
April 28th, 2009 at 6:21 pm
PLZ READ THIS !!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~Sexting also known as "Flirtexting", is bad because it promotes sex and show a lack of respect for your self and others ! I think its stupid ! Girls do it to get a boyfriend or make their Ex's jelous ! It needs to be stop, once and for all, it unhealthy, stupid, and wrong !!! =[ ~~~~~~~~~~
____SWEETBLOOD____ =]
November 7th, 2009 at 6:20 am
So far, I have raised 4 teenagers with one more to go. My 14 year daughter just recieved her cammera phone 1 week ago, already she has been caught sending & recievung sexually EXPLICIT content. so please…Don't fool yourselves that this is not an all too real epidemic. 3 of the 4 kids, 2 girls & 1 boy have been caught. Now that we are getting the parentol control thing in place…we hope to make it better without taking phones and computers completely away.
November 9th, 2009 at 8:37 am
You make it seem like there is irrational panic about this. It is an epidemic. I'm 18 years old and let me tell you that if you work hard enough you can get pictures from any girl. It's disgusting and shows a complete lack of self respect. You know there sites which people upload photos of their girlfriends or pics they get via text, and the age limits are barely enforced. I hate this generation.
November 25th, 2009 at 10:58 pm
I am a school counseling intern looking for balanced information to present this topic to a class of juniors. Doing research on this subject is quite challenging. The Cosmogirl stats and Susan Lipkin's research is what most circulates and has been picked up by mainstream news media. The latter is less casual about sexting as many of you appear, if not so much about the possible legal ramifications are about the social consequences. Personally, I think sexting is just a manifestation of what has been gotten most attention in popular culture: young female stars openly flaunting their sexuality.
April 17th, 2010 at 11:12 am
I agree. I am currently going to middle school and it sickens me how many girls willingly give out photos of themselves. I always delete the ones I get, because I believe that they should have a greater respect for themselves and other people. Some people don't want to see those photos, so it is rather selfish to entice people who do not want to be enticed. God show us mercy that this will stop.