I got a text yesterday telling me Tyra was talking about "sexting" and then later on my flight home, opened up People magazine to find a feature on "sexting." For the media, "sexting" is all the rage. For most teens, i.e. 80 percent (if you use the study from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy), this is not an issue. When I asked a couple of teen guys at the school I spoke at in L.A. this week if they had heard of "sexting," they looked at me like I was crazy. Just another reminder that this is a made up media word.

So "sexting" is not as big as cyberbullying (more teens report being bullied online), but yes, it does happen. And unfortunately, some teens who get caught up in "sexting" are being prosecuted using laws designed to snare child pornographers. Not to mention, other non-legal, but equally troubling consequences. Remember all those sexy photos that some teen girls — including Disney tween queens Vanessa Hudgeons and Miley Cyrus — would post of themselves online?

We live in a highly sexualized culture where teens are bombarded with images showing them what "sexy" is whether it's a Victoria's Secret commercial or actual porn online. And as scary as it is to adults, teens are sexual beings with hormones. The urge to show off their bodies for friends or boyfriends or girlfriends is….gasp….natural. And for teens growing up "totally wired," it's also natural to show their bodies off digitally. That's when the trouble starts. Just as with anything else we put out there digitally, it can go viral and spread to the point where you can't take it back, and the results can be devastating.

What I think is important when talking about teens and "sexting" is not to judge or shame teens that do it. We live in a culture full of shameful messages about sex and our bodies. The urge for teens to do this is normal — talk about that. The peer pressure (read the results in the sidebar) for teens to do this is also normal, but not cool — talk about that. And of course, the repercussions of doing this to your reputation (online and off), make it worth rethinking. I was at a panel at SXSW about teen sexuality online where they played that old Salt-N-Pepa song "Let's Talk About Sex" — maybe there's room for a new variation, "Let's Talk About Sexting" and all the good things or the normal things (and not just the bad things) that may be.

Categorized under: Web

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