Help Bring Teen Dating Violence Out Of The Shadows

I just returned from the Verizon Foundation's domestic violence summit where I spoke about teens and technology. As I listened before I gave my own talk, I remembered my own experience volunteering at a domestic violence hotline in Nashville when I was 19. I remembered one young woman who called to describe how her boyfriend was abusing her and how his family was completely complicit in this abuse. We talked for a long time, and I realized that we knew some of the same people. She was my age, white and middle class. She could have been me and I could have been her.

After giving my talk, I stayed to listen to a panel of youth advocates discuss what adults could do to help them in their dating violence prevention efforts. I was incredibly moved by the young "survivors" of violence on this panel, and reminded of how even with all the red flags in the world, when you think you love someone, violence can literally creep up on you and you suddenly find yourself in a desperate situation. I was also reminded of how taboo this issue still is when someone in the audience shared that he had offered to speak to several schools in an upper middle class area about the issue, and only one accepted. The school provided counselors during his talk and seven children came forward and reported violence at home. And, I thought again about how technology itself isn't inherently good or bad, it all depends on who is using it and how it's being used (keeping in touch vs. stalking).

I wanted to share the suggestions these bright young advocates had for helping them be more effective in the work they're doing — I think they are applicable no matter what issue you're working on.

- Add youth to your board of directors — if your organization serves this population, they should have a role in decision making

- Support more youth or peer educators on this issue. Youth respond better to their peers, they often feel criticized and judged by adults (and adults, work on not being critical or judgmental when talking to youth!)

- Educate young people from an early age about what a healthy relationship looks like vs. focusing on the problem of domestic violence.

- Tap into the technology teens are using every day to reach them

- Be there. Especially if a young person confides to you about being in a violent relationship, be present and ready to support them in whatever action they decide to take.

Click here for more info on Verizon's initiatives and check out Love is respect if you haven't already for more information on this topic.

P.S. Whenever I'm out speaking, I realize what a bubble those of us who work in media and technology live in. Not every adult has been on MySpace or Facebook, knows what an avatar is or how to Twitter.

Categorized under: Education

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