Comments on: Helicopter Parents Gone Wild

By: Joseph

Joseph — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 18:44:27 +0000

Parents need to learn to cut the umbilical cord. Not letting their kids fight their own battles is the worst thing that they can do.

I had a roommate who belonged on the Jerry Springer show. He never took a shower, smoked 2 packs of cigarettes per day, and drank cheap nasty beer in large quantities. Furthermore, he had a GF who also never took a shower, refused to socialize with anybody other than loser roommate BF,and spent 7 hours per day in our room. Our dorm room smelled more like a locker room.

I found another roommate real quick-no phone calls crying to Mommy and Daddy were necessary.

How can we expect Universities to train America’s future leaders if they can’t learn to resolve roommate or grade issues on their own??

By: Anastasia

Anastasia — Sun, 19 Aug 2007 20:08:32 +0000

Hi Stu — I just said the parents checked their kid’s roommate’s profiles — I didn’t say how. So even if they are talking about it together, I think my point still holds that it’s the student’s responsibility to deal with student housing, or a bad grade, or negotiating a raise at their first job, etc. and that the helicopter parents who do this for them are indeed hovering too close…

By: Stu

Stu — Sun, 19 Aug 2007 03:48:32 +0000

Absolutely, and I certainly didn’t mean it as a criticism. I just think that the story behind the story is that teens are looking up their future roommates and complaining to their parents.

The thing about Facebook is that the parents wouldn’t even be able to look at the future roommate’s profile unless they were “friends” with the future roommate on Facebook (and that also assumes the parent has a facebook profile in the first place!). And even if the parent did have a profile and tried to friend their child’s future roommate, it would be really weird to the kid, who may or may not accept.

I think what I”m really trying to get at is that it would be really difficult for the parent to physically look at the future roommate’s page without their child being the one to show it to them. I think there’s more consulting going on between kids and parents before phone calls are made than the article is giving credit; so I’m just not sure it’s just parents butting in as you suggested.

By: Anastasia

Anastasia — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 16:16:22 +0000

Hi Stu. I was going off the USA Today article, which definitely made it sound like the parents. From the lead: “As housing officials at colleges around the country send out roommate assignments to freshmen this summer, a growing number of schools say they’re getting more requests for changes — from parents who don’t like the roommates’ Facebook profiles.”

By: Stu

Stu — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 16:08:45 +0000

Are you sure it’s the parents butting in? It’s much more likely that the kids are looking at their future roommate’s Facebook profile (which is the first thing I’d do) and then complaining about it to their parents. “Mom, will you call the school. My roommate looks freaky.” It’s always easier to have your parents look like the bad guy.

Btw, I’ve been reading your blog all summer for work, and it has been a tremendous help!

By: Eric Jaffa

Eric Jaffa — Thu, 09 Aug 2007 13:10:38 +0000

I agree with the “Helicopter Parents” on this one.

Who wants to spend thousands of dollars on college for one’s kid to have a roommate who may undermine studying?

By: Kelly Mahoney

Kelly Mahoney — Thu, 09 Aug 2007 13:04:19 +0000

You really need to learn to fight your own battles at some point. Everyone has a horrible roommate at some point — it at least gives you some good stories to tell later on. College and living on your own isn’t supposed to be easy; It’s what makes you grow as a person and appreciate everything your parents used to do for you.

I know parents who have gone as far as to pack a student’s things for them, help them unpack when they get their, make sure they have copies of their schedule, secure parking spots for them and speak with the other roommate’s parents before hand to make sure “everyone was on the same page.”

Cut the cord!

By: Parry

Parry — Thu, 09 Aug 2007 12:39:16 +0000

Reminds me of my 1st roomie in uni back in ’97, the only person I know who could sleep with Cannibal Corpse or some other inane death metal at volume level 7, while simultaneously snoring and letting wind.

Needless to say, my trek to the housing office mimicked yours :) (and thank god Facebook hasn’t embedded odors… yet…)