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The other day in Ypulse Essentials, I cited an unfortunate trend piece that ran in the New York Times over the weekend, reg. required, on the problems college women face when they outnumber guys on campus. The gist? It’s slim pickings out there and the only way to “lock it down” with a guy is by resigning oneself to lowered standards (cheaters get a pass), and a no holds barred attitude towards the target and the competition alike. Rii-ight. After a few deep breaths, I sent the story to a good female friend of mine from college and got this response im’d back to me:

“omg double ewwwww squared. i’m reading this and feel like vomiting in my mouth a little.”

My (and every other snarky blogger’s) sentiments exactly. From the “ladies night” reference in the lede to the final image of a freshman girl wistfully thinking back to the days when her roommate’s parents met on campus, fell in love and lived happily ever after, the whole article is so nauseatingly cringeworthy and dated, it’s difficult to even register the legit issues it raises around dating in college today. Thankfully the blogosphere (see here and here and here) has done more than a sufficient job of addressing the gross characterization of gender relations across the divide, calling attention to the more thoughtful points made and considering poignant questions like what about the fact that students today are connected online to an entire world beyond campus. With that territory covered,  I wanted to instead focus on the equally distorted depiction of the dynamic between girls.

Full of sad cliche-ridden anecdotes and unfortunate survival-of-the-fittest-themed quotes, the article glosses over the reality that hanging out with friends of the same sex isn’t just a way to bide time until a guy comes along. More like an integral part of the college experience. And one that considering the trend of Millennials postponing marriage until nearly a decade after graduation, might be becoming an even more central aspect of college life than the pursuit of a long term committed relationship.

I’d love to see some real research on how female friendships in college have evolved and how if at all the shift in ratios on campus and general changes to gender roles and personal aspirations have affected them. My sense is the findings would be a lot more positive and certainly less sensational than this Times piece would have you believe. Just consider this stat on the positive developments in self-esteem among girls from high school to college from our Ypulse January Report:the number of girls that agreed with the statement “sometimes I don’t fit in” dropped significantly from high school (57%) to college (39%). Not exactly supporting the trend towards an epidemic crisis in confidence spurred by a shortage of guys.

Sorta Related
Something Doesn’t Add Up for the Women of the ‘New Math on Campus’ Story [Gawker]

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Categorized under: Collegians

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