Earlier this week a popular tween fashion blogger who will remain nameless and linkless for reasons that will become obvious momentarily sent out a memo to the media both old and new that she will no longer be taking their calls. Thanks, but no thanks.

The reason? Too much pressure to perform. In her own simultaneously wise-beyond-her-years-but-still-unmistakably-preteen way she explains, "More exposure=higher expectations=lots of stress=wondering if anything is good enough=sadface D:" Pretty much says it all, no? While clearly this type of internet fame is a different breed than the Miley Cyrus variety, the psychological effect of having everyone "watching" your every move, especially when you're young and bound to eventually make a misstep, is comparable, and, in both cases, potentially damaging. Couple this with the constant need to defend yourself against speculation that you either a) don't deserve the attention you're receiving or b) have somehow cheated your way into getting it (many accused this particular blogette of being a parent-operated puppet), and the decision to bow out of the spotlight makes all the more sense. Getting burnt out before you even hit your teen years is a scary prospect. Fortunately, it seems that this plea was a preventative measure.

Despite the silent treatment the blogger in question is adopting towards the press and requesting in return (hence no names, no links here), according to her post she does plan to remain devoted to her site. This, I'm sure, comes as a relief to all of the dedicated readers out there who don't simply see her as a novelty act . Needless to say, if this hadn't been the case, it would have been a big loss in the blogosphere. Regardless, this episode should serve as a reminder that while in many ways the internet is the best thing that could have happened to young, creative types — with no money and a little ingenuity you can have a public platform to display your talents whatever they may be — it's still important to keep in mind that tween bloggers are kids first and bloggers second.

Is teasing endangered? You might think so if you were one of the many who caught a look at this weekend's New York Times' magazine feature "In Defense of Teasing," (reg. required) an impassioned plea to preserve the ancient "art" of poking fun at others. If I sound sarcastic you'll have to forgive me (heck, if you're the article's author you may even commend me.) While I find the historical evidence, literary allusions and psychological analysis that supports the article's argument fascinating, I still have some trouble with the main conceit that we as a society are somehow trying to "banish" teasing altogether and must be stopped before it's too late.

Citing the recent spate of "high-profile school shootings and teenage suicides” as the cause for our collective heightened sensitivity, Dacher Keltner, a Psychology professor at UC Berkeley, seems to suggest the precautionary measures that schools and parents have adopted are an overreaction. But are they? Or, are the zero-tolerance policies and strict monitoring of classroom roughhousing just a means of reinforcing the distinction between teasing and bullying?

Interestingly. Keltner draws an analogy between teasing/bullying and flirting/sexual harassment, noting that both negative behaviors stem from violent tendencies, whereas the former is rooted in play. From the New York Times article:

But bullying is something different; it’s aggression, pure and simple. Bullies steal, punch, kick, harass and humiliate. Sexual harassers grope, leer and make crude, often threatening passes. They’re pretty ineffectual flirts. By contrast, teasing is a mode of play, no doubt with a sharp edge, in which we provoke to negotiate life’s ambiguities and conflicts…

So, what’s the harm in defining those crucial differences with hard and fast rules, whether it be at school or in the workplace? Personally, my mind keeps wandering back to the era of “Mad Men,” where “anti-sexual harassment policies” were an unknown concept. I'd like to ask Keltner whether he thought sexual tension or even office romances have ceased to exist as a result of this modern development. Actually, what I’d really be curious to hear is Keltner’s answer to the question he raises himself at the end of this excerpt:

Still, it’s hard not to remember why teasing has a bad name when it results in what sounds an awful lot like humiliation. In situations where power asymmetries exist, as they do in a frat house, how do we separate a productive tease from a damaging one?

Today in my inbox I received an email promoting a new online newspaper site for tweens called "The TweenTribune." It's basically a big link aggregator where you can comment on news stories allegedly from "a tweens perspective." The goal, according to the email from Alan Jacobson, of BrassTacksDesign, is to:

"…encourage tweens to seek out news on a daily basis. Our democracy depends upon a well-informed public, so it's important to foster a daily news-reading habit at an early age. TweenTribune does that by enticing tweens with a few offbeat stories they wouldn't find elsewhere. Only TweenTribune promotes the daily habit because its the only news site for tweens that is updated daily."

I get it — and even applaud this goal, though I don't know that tweens identify themselves as tweens (re: the name), and when I first checked it out, the link heavy design made me wonder if it was another "splog" like this one that scrapes my content daily. If BrassTacksDesign wants this site to be legit, and it is truly for tweens (which would include kids under the age of 13), it also must be COPPA compliant. You can't allow kids under 13 to comment and "participate" in ways where they share personal information otherwise. And whenever you create a site for tweens, you have to go overboard on providing information about your company, philosophy, how the site works, safety, etc. for parents. I couldn't find any of that on the "beta" site. This is a great example of a company with good intentions jumping into the kids/tween space head first without fully understanding the market, best practices or legal ramifications.

Today's Ypulse Guest Post is from Nancy Gruver, CEO, New Moon Girl Media. Nancy attended a recent "unconference" in San Jose called Kids Online: Balancing Safety and Fun. I was in Florida and couldn't make it, but I wanted to know what happened. I figured you might, too, so I asked Nancy to write a recap for Ypulse readers…

A Report From Kids Online: Balancing Safety And Fun

Doing everything we can to provide kids with online safety seems like a no-brainer. From what I hear, parents, educators and law enforcement all worry about it. So a recent study by HighlightsParents.com surprised me with 75% of parents saying that their kids access the internet without supervision.

The very same week, I was excited to be part of the first-ever Kids Online: Balancing Safety and Fun "unconference" at the Computer History Museum in Mountain View, CA. It came on the heels of the 7th Internet Identity Workshop, and both conferences were organized by Identity Commons, which addresses the many identity and privacy issues encountered online.

The brainchild of Joi Podgorny, Denise Tayloe and others, the day brought together many leaders of online services for children up to age 12. It combined small-group and full-group discussion of how companies like mine can improve children's online safety while not making it into a barrier for kids to use our sites. It hit home for me as our online practices and guidelines at NewMoonGirls.com put several barriers in place to maintain a safe and fun environment for girls 8-12. But we’re hearing from our members that they’d like us to remove those barriers. Even some parents tell us that we should leave it up to them to keep their daughter safe on our site.

But considering the research by HighlightParents.com, it seems that the majority of parents are depending on the online companies to keep things safe for their children. Some companies take this seriously and spend significant sums to obtain parental consent, moderate all posts and conduct other oversight. There are financial and time pressures to shortcut full moderation. That made a session on how to generate revenue (to cover the cost of moderation) without exploiting children by allowing advertising a lively discussion. It's a challenge, that's for sure!

But what about spaces like Facebook, MySpace, and YouTube, which say they are only for consumers age 13+ (wink, wink), but which kids are eager to join before they’re old enough? Is it possible to keep our kids safe there? The consensus was no. Most conference participants thought there needs to be higher expectations for the 13+ sites to keep 12-and-unders off them.

We're going to regroup monthly to plan additional meetings with one another, as well as organize online safety conferences for parents and kids. I came away hopeful that this day will lead to continuing improvement of online safety for our kids. As the internet changes every day, it's essential we always be looking for the next way to provide reasonable security for kids' wellbeing.

About Nancy Gruver

Nancy is founder of the international online community and magazine for girls ages 8-12, New Moon Girls, author of How To Say It To Girls: Communicating With Your Growing Daughter (Penguin Putnam, 2004) and blogs on girls’ issues and media. She is a national leader in using media to develop girls’ full potential. As pioneered by Gruver at New Moon Girl Media, Inc., truly collaborative work by girls and adults is an innovative counterbalance to societal pressures which lead many tween and teen girls to abandon their dreams and silence their voices.

Someone sent me this link to Breakup Girl's post (aka Lynn Harris) about a press release she received from ReBelle Bags. I, too, received this release via email the other week. What Lynn basically said in one concise line - "A 'power pocketbook' as some kind of superhero accessory, maybe. This, I think, is not that" made me think about how most product marketed to tweens is all about "raising self esteem" or is supposed to have some sort of positive side effect. Some of it, like the Beacon Street Girls Books, might indeed have a measurable positive effect, but do all products related to a group of multicultural tween or teen girl characters inspire self esteem? Or to Lynn's question, does a purse, sold by the "Rebelle" girls really empower girls?

It's the Dove conundrum in a way — Dove has a brilliant message of self esteem for girls and women, but do their anti-aging products somehow contradict this notion of self acceptance? Part of me is relieved that marketers and companies are using positive imagery and messaging around self esteem to sell products - it's better than the alternative. But the other part of me wonders what the impact is when the product itself doesn't quite match the marketing message. Or if the message is, "Want to feel good about yourself? Empowered? In order to do this you must have this product." And when you market a concept, like say "rebellion," doesn't that make it somehow less "rebellious" to buy that product? Feel free to weigh in with your own thoughts on this…

P.S. The concept of "Friendship Bags" of course made me think back to the friendship pins that dominated my own tween years — they were much cheaper and you got to make them yourself (how's that for building self esteem!), just some beads and a safety pin clipped onto your sneaker.

Lots happening in tween media land today including the Jonas Bros. making their leap to the big screen with a Farrelly brothers adaptation of the book series "Walter the Farting Dog." Lest the Olympics fade from our memories, the gymnastics stars are going on what looks like a very tween-friendly tour.

In online tween news, Miss O & Friends is teaming up with Albie Hecht’s Worldwide Biggies to develop a branded casual game based on the popular tween community. Tween site Shop Like Anna launches a celebrity section that "includes music, videos, and lyrics for users to sing along to, and members can follow the artists through direct updates and special interviews, releases, and performances." And Club Penguin celebrates its third anniversary in NYC with a big bash.

Finally, with the holidays around the corner and the financial news not getting much brighter, Campaign For A Commercial Free Childhood asks marketers to focus on parents (Media Post, reg. required) instead of kids this holiday season. And, a new organization with a mission I embrace: Parents For Ethical Marketing.

This weekend Disney's HSM3 had the biggest opening for a movie musical in history grossing $42 million domestically. The Gen Xer in me may long for grittier teen movie musicals like "Footloose," but not the Ypulse Youth Advisory Board. I had multiple requests from members to weigh in on the movie version of Disney's franchise. Here are two reactions from Alyx, a 15-year-old die hard fan, and Meg, a college student now studying abroad in the UK. To contact our Youth Advisory Board directly, just email them at youthadvisoryboard at ypulse.com.

Alyx: HSM Goes Out With A Bang

This is it. The final “High School Musical.” *tear tear* What started off in 2006 as just another Disney Channel movie has turned into a multi-million dollar marketing force. It’s impossible to avoid the popularity of this show. If you ask a childless adult, I’m sure they’ve even heard of this phenomenon.

I really think the “High School Musical” team stepped up to this big screen challenge and made this the best HSM ever. There, I said it. I think this is my favorite “High School Musical” in the entire series, and that means a lot coming from a dedicated HSM fan like me. The musical numbers are bigger, the song selection is better (meaning that there wasn’t one song I disliked like in #1 or #2), and the acting was perfect in that it was fun for adults and mesmerizing for kids.

The whole idea of making HSM into a big screen attraction was brilliant. Our small town movie theater was packed to the brim with screaming girls, their mothers, and my friend and me, which just shows even more that the magic of HSM has reached more than just young girls, but also a 15-year-old guy. We were beyond excited to see this movie, even though we are teenagers. High School Musical has been a part of our lives for a long time and to see it end was very…emotional (at least for me—my friend just thinks I’m too emotional in general).

So this legacy has ended, and without a doubt, it went out with a bang.

Meg: We Still Swoon Over The Teenybopper Romance

"High School Musical 3" premiered in the UK on Wednesday, two days before it hit American cinemas. Luckily, it's as big a phenomenon here as it is in the US, so I didn't have to see it alone — I brought along two equally excited flatmates from England and France, as well as an American friend. We're all over the movie's target age group, so we were a little surprised to see that the other big group in the mostly-empty theatre (it was a Wednesday afternoon matinee, after all) was another group of university-age girls.

Granted, part of our love of the movies is their over-the-top drama and possibly self-conscious campiness, but we still swoon over the teenybopper romance. My friend Lily warned us that if Troy and Gabriella broke up, she'd cry.

Though I was eager to see the movie, I'd assumed that HSM 1 and 2 had basically eaten up the franchise's quota of drama and catchy songs. How do you eclipse the hilarity/cringe-worthiness of HSM 2's "Bet On It," which includes Troy's infamous golf course epiphany? HSM3 made it look easy: The movie started with a close up of the sweaty, panting face of basketball star/super-heartthrob Troy, going straight into a giant musical number that, in itself, already eclipsed the drama of HSM1 and 2's numbers. There were explosions, neon, tons of special effects, giant ensemble dance numbers (drama queens Ryan and Sharpay's Broadway-influenced show-stopper was the best, natch), bright colors, and songs that were as catchy as ever. This movie's budget ran up to $13 million, and it showed.

The acting was also much better than the previous movies: The cast has clearly bonded and grown into their characters. Though the ending seemed a bit drawn out, I was pleasantly surprised, overall…and can't wait to buy the soundtrack on iTunes.

About Alyx
Alyx Steadman is a freshman in high school in Montana, and loves every minute of it. He loves reading, writing, acting, singing, and being a social butterfly. In the past people have accused him of being a YouTube addict and a pop culture junkie (and sadly Alyx cannot deny these accusations). His love for teen culture has led him to many hours slaving on the computer soaking up every piece of drama Hollywood has to offer. In the future he hopes to pursue a writing career as some type of journalist. Excited doesn’t even begin to cover how he’s feeling to be in the Ypulse Advisory Board. “Today the world changes so quickly that in growing up we take leave not just of youth but of the world we were young in.”

About Meg
Megan is a college student, freelancer and hardcore bookworm. She began writing fashion articles for her hometown newspaper at age 15, and her work has since appeared in publications like Boston magazine, Mountain Living and CosmoGirl. Meg also loves theatre and the arts, and when she's not sending postcards, devouring YA novels, or reading up on 19th-century cultural studies, she's probably dragging someone along on a late-night ice cream/Starbucks run. Meg has lived in three (soon to be four) countries and five states, though she currently resides in Arizona.

Nancy Gruver is the brains behind New Moon, the long-running independent ad-free magazine for girls. New Moon also just launched NewMoonGirls.com, a new subscription-based online community for girls. As the founder and CEO, she has worked for years to create an empowering environment for girls to express themselves and voice their opinions. This past July, Nancy was also a panelist at "Are Girls the New Geeks?" at the Ypulse National Youth Marketing Mashup in San Francisco. We interviewed Nancy to find out what's "new" at New Moon…

(Full disclosure: Anastasia is on New Moon's advisory board)

Ypulse: New Moon has been around since 1993 - how has the editorial focus changed over time?

Nancy Gruver: The editorial focus hasn’t really changed over that time. The focus is, as it always has been, on what girls have to say about themselves, their lives, and the world. Other media for girls tell girls who they “should be,” and so their editorial focus shifts with the winds of fad, fashion and marketing. The dynamic is very different at New Moon Girls—rather than using media to tell girls who to be, we help girls discover, create and share media that they themselves make.

YP: What sets NewMoonGirls.com apart from other websites for tween girls?

NG: NewMoonGirls.com is where girls 8-12 make their own media (writing, video, art, photos, opinions, advice, polls, etc.) and share it with each other. It isn’t driven by ad revenue, like other sites. It isn’t MySpace or Facebook. Unlike those sites, NewMoonGirls.com does not allow posting of personal information and all comments are moderated by well-trained adults. NewMoonGirls.com is a safe space for girls to post their own media creations, share them (or not) as they please, and comment on other girls’ creative efforts.

That also makes NewMoonGirls.com safer than other sites for girls. As part of our commitment to creating a safe online environment for girls and their families, NewMoonGirls.com complies with all aspects of the Children’s Online Privacy and Protection Act (COPPA).

YP: What features on NewMoonGirls.com are you most excited about?

NG: I’m incredibly excited by everything on the site that lets girls share their own unique perspectives and creativity. My personal favorite features are the Shout Out message boards, which are divided into several topics relevant to girls. Through my work with New Moon, I’ve continually come up against the lack of age-appropriate resources for things girls are thinking about and talking about. For example, we have one message board called “Love Remembers,” which is a place where girls can talk about pets, family, and friends that they have lost. I’d always been disappointed by the lack of resources for grieving kids, and I feel glad that New Moon can finally provide that. We have lighter message boards too, such as “Rants and Raves,” where girls can swap reviews and “How to Do (Everything)” where girls can share their expertise. Another popular message board is “Body and Feelings,” where girls talk very candidly about topics they might be embarrassed to bring up “in real life.”

I’m also excited by the scope of girl-created media that NewMoonGirls.com supports; while the magazine has been showcasing girls’ written and drawn media for years, now we’re finally able to showcase a wider range of girl’s talents through the addition of video and sound capabilities. As the site develops and grows, we hope to continue expanding the opportunities for girls to express themselves.

YP: Most online magazines offer free content because of ad revenue - why do you think it's important to maintain an ad-free zone for tweens?

NG: Most online communities for kids sell advertising space or are heavily marketing their own products (dolls, cereal, etc.) to generate revenue. That makes one more stream in the flood of marketing and commercialism swamping kids and families nowadays. For girls, that flood of marketing frequently includes harmful messages about gender stereotypes, hyper-sexualization and the like. Since we began in 1992, a big part of the New Moon Girls mission has been to help girls resist those harmful influences by providing positive alternatives.

We decided long ago that, to create safe spaces where girls are truly free to be themselves, those spaces must be advertising free. We remain committed to this founding philosophy. But because we have no advertising revenue, we must charge subscription and membership fees for our print and online products.

YP: Orb28, the blog aimed at a 13-15+ audience, looks very promising. Can you tell us a little bit more about what we can expect from New Moon's older sister?

NG: Like all of New Moon Girl Media’s girl communities, orb28 will also take shape under the direction of girls in the targeted demographic. The Girls Web Editorial Board (GWEB) envisions an online community similar to NewMoonGirls.com in structure but that goes a bit deeper in scope. The GWEB is interested in devoting permanent areas of the site – inasmuch as the constantly evolving internet can be permanent! – to the topics of politics, friends and relationships, health, fashion, finances, school, and careers, among others. orb28 will be a safe place where girls can come for credible, age-appropriate information that is tailored specifically to their needs.

After many years of working with New Moon magazine’s wider demographic of girls ages 8 – 14, we could see that older girls really needed a space of their own to talk about the challenges of young womanhood: making decisions about dating and sex, getting first jobs and managing money, or preparing to move away from home for college or work. Young teens are also incredibly media savvy, but the media is often too intent on feeding them expectations for womanhood that it doesn’t provide a place for girls to talk back. orb28 will have some departments that more “typical” teen sites have, such as fashion and pop culture, but we’ll actively encourage girls to respond to these topics in their own ways without their words being filtered by the desire to sell.

orb28 will provide the same type of safe space New Moon has always created for girls, but we’ll be responsive to older girls in a way we couldn’t be with a wider demographic. orb28 is an ambitious project that is directly tied to the success of NewMoonGirls.com, so in the meantime, we encourage older New Moon Girls to participate in the discussion and community at the orb28 blog.

YP: Anything else Ypulse readers should know?

NG: NewMoonGirls.com is an incredible amount of fun!!! In addition to being a great place to play and be creative, NewMoonGirls.com helps girls learn, grow, and reach their full potential. The variety and depth of the site’s content demonstrates how girls can educate and learn from each other. Girls develop their writing, artistic, video, and music talents, share their insights, develop critical media skills—all while learning to appreciate their own strengths and abilities. Meanwhile, they learn from the strengths and abilities of other girls—and dozens of inspirational women of yesterday and today. NewMoonGirls.com is truly education for life, helping girls build self-worth grounded in what’s real and really important—rather than in the superficiality by which girls are so frequently urged to judge themselves and others.

I asked FOYP (friend of Ypulse) Kathy Ishizuka, who also happens to be the amazing technology editor over at the excellent School Library Journal, if she would write up a recap of the recent Sandbox Summit event in NYC. The organizers describe the Summit as "a series of innovative conferences exploring how technology is changing the ways kids play, learn, and connect." If you are interested in writing a Ypulse Guest Post and work in youth media or marketing, just email me.

Report From The Sandbox Summit

What's the key to unlocking childrens' creativity? "A box of bike parts," according to Andy Berndt, managing director of Google Creative Lab. In his keynote address at the Sandbox Summit 2008 on September 24, Berndt related his own experience of a childhood find to the convergence of play, learning, and technology, the subject of the conference series, which brings together educators, industry folk, and journalists, this time to the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York.

As to that box, it was not the parts to one bike, but one part from every bike that fueled a seemingly lifelong creative riff for Berndt, who—some crazily constructed bikes and several concussions later—ended up leading the marketing team at Google.

The Web, he says, is akin to a bunch of bike parts whose complexity and cost is rapidly “going to zero.” So is the line between playing and doing for kids.

How to put bike parts in the hands of kids fueled the day’s discussion, with experts and industry leaders offering perspectives on developmental needs, marketplace demands, and rapidly changing technology. Some highlights:

- Mitchel Resnick, Professor of Learning Research, MIT Media Lab: Thus far, kids have uploaded more than 200,000 Scratch projects, some 30,000 are remixes.

- Don't promise what you can't deliver. Kathy Hirsh-Pasek psych professor, Temple University and author of Einstein Never Used Flashcards, told the industry: "Please guys, take brain growth off the packaging. Bilingualism from a mobile? No, that doesn't happen”

- Parent-child interaction is key to play, several experts said. Deborah Linebarger of the University of Pennsylvania recommends that being built into products.

Peter Shafer, of Harris Interactive presented some interesting findings. In a survey of 1300 kids aged 8-18:

- Ease of use is important when it comes to toys, especially among girls
- Kids see the learning value in toys, but it's not their primary objective
- They want a variety of experiences from one product
- Kids are very brand and platform aware. It’s not specific games for them, but rather Nintendo or Wii.

Shafer also cited the availability of 150 virtual worlds in the coming months. “What's next after Webkinz?” he asked. “Where are these outlets going to be? There's no tiering, no migration pattern. Kids are trying a lot of things, but nothing's really sticking.”

Scott Arpajian, cofounder of Dizzywood, a virtual world for ages 8-12, is considering an educational application. He has brought Dizzywood into a fifth-grade classroom in Marin County, CA, to help students practice “good digital citizenship.” Interestingly, he was approached by the principal, who was prompted by a spate of bullying.

You can also listen to audio from all of the panels online (how cool!).

Yesterday's Essentials post about Jordin Sparks and her remarks at the VMAs provoked some interesting discussion in the comments about this year's VMAs and the issue of tween/teen/twentysomething overlap. Izzy pointed out:

I was kinda upset at Nickelodeon for trying to prompt kids on Nick (the cast of iCarly "inviting" kids to watch the VMAs) - and then having adult topics in Russell Brand's opening (ahem, "self gratification" ahem). I was disappointed they would slyly pull kids to be viewing audience for content not suitable for U13 tater tots.

While LizB said:

I also thought the MTV awards didn't know what they wanted. Given Brand's humor, and given the audience for Twilight, Jonas Brothers, and HSM — well. I don't think the 2 audiences appreciated each other.

We've written on Ypulse that just as college students make their beds with SpongeBob or Sesame Street sheets, older teens *heart* The Jonas Bros., HSM, Hannah and the rest. But the core audience for tween entertainment is still screaming 8-13 year olds, and inviting them to watch a show with adult humor not only exposes younger viewers to inappropriate content but may leave both audiences unsatisfied. I also think MTV's version of HSM, "The American Mall" flopped with its core audience of older teens because it was too earnestly aimed at them. It's ok for them (older teens) to *heart* something for younger tweens, but that doesn't mean they want their own version.

On the flipside, Disney has been marketing HSM 3 on MySpace, which is a site for users 14 and up. We know that lots of tweens are lying about their age and have MySpace accounts — is marketing tween content on the social networking site quietly admitting this or an attempt to go after the older teens who *heart* tween fare.

What do you think? Should these media companies promote squeaky clean tween fare on sites for older teens? Should MTV be promoting the vmas on Nickelodeon? Does mixing these audiences dilute or grow Disney/Nick and MTV's brands?