Comments on: A Fine Line Between Teasing And Bullying

By: Cyberbullies On Campus Now Face Punishment « Educationload

Cyberbullies On Campus Now Face Punishment « Educationload — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 23:08:04 +0000

[...] A Fine Line Between Teasing And Bullying [...]

By: Ben Leichtling

Ben Leichtling — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 00:34:41 +0000

Hi Eric,

Sorry you haven’t.

Sometimes my wife and I tease, within our agreed upon limits, and its fun. Sometimes, it’s a way of talking about things that only we can share.

Or it’s a way we can loving bring up things that we wouldn’t let anyone else say to us.

But always fun and agreed upon.

Try it.

Best wishes,
Ben

By: Eric Jaffa

Eric Jaffa — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 21:01:06 +0000

I’ve never heard people say they want to be teased.

By: Ben Leichtling

Ben Leichtling — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 18:55:51 +0000

Hi Meredith,

Thanks for carrying the article.

We have to make a clear distinction about when teasing is bullying and when its not.

When two people agree to tease and know the limits and boundaries, teasing can be a lot of fun. And even allow things to be said in a friendly way that might be hard to say or hear in other ways.

But when only the “teaser” wants to tease, and the “teasee” doesn’t want it, then it’s bullying. And the effects on the “teasee” can be quite damaging if the “teasee” does rise up and stop it. When the “teasee” stops it, he or she grows much stronger in character, courage and skill.

Disclosure: I’m a practical, pragmatic coach and consultant. Check out my website and blog (http://www.BulliesBeGone.com). I’ve written books like “How to Stop Bullies in their Tracks” and “Parenting Bully-Proof Kids”. Also CDs.

Best wishes,
Ben

By: Meredith

Meredith — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 15:25:27 +0000

Um, just to play devil’s advocate Carol, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold were white (presumably heterosexual) males. And look how that turned out. Anyone can be the victim of unkind words and behavior. (I say that as a white female who was mercilessly teased-to-the-point-of-tears for the majority of my school years.)

By: Carol Anne

Carol Anne — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 23:12:41 +0000

When I Googled on Dacher Keltner’s name, I wasn’t surprised to find that he is a white, heterosexual male. No wonder he thinks teasing is okay: he’s on the winning team.

By: Eric Jaffa

Eric Jaffa — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 21:16:33 +0000

Furthermore, it’s bogus to claim that teasing:bullying as flirting:sexual harassment.

When two people are flirting with each other, they’re both having fun.

When one person is teasing another, the teaser is having fun while the other person is feeling annoyed-and-angry.

By: Eric Jaffa

Eric Jaffa — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 20:56:14 +0000

If teasing is going away:
good riddance.

The teaser may think it’s funny.

The person being teased doesn’t like it.